What I Learned From Therapy!

I’m here to shed light on therapy and how important it is!

Do I attend therapy?

I sure do! I started therapy in October of 2018. It was three months after my car accident, moving and starting a new job. Needless to say, my anxiety was through the roof. I was worried about any and everything. I was finding it damn near impossible to quiet my mind.

How I found my therapist…

I simply went onto Psychology Today, clicked the “Find Therapist” tab, clicked on my preferences and went from there. Finding a therapist is almost like being on a dating website. You look at their profiles, scroll through their bio, look at their pictures. I don’t care what anyone says we all judge people based on how they look. I wanted a therapist that looked easy to talk to, sounds crazy but true. Eventually, I found a few that seemed decent, I narrowed it down to one and that was it. We had our initial phone call and I knew from there that I felt comfortable with her.

Disclaimer: This method of finding a therapist may not work for you but it is what worked for me.

My first appointment

I will admit that I was extremely nervous. You see all the shows and movies where people go to therapy and ball their eyes out. I did not want to be that person on the couch with snot and tears running down my face. On the ride there I remember telling myself not to overthink it. Whatever is meant to happen will happen. So of course during my first session, I sat on that couch and balled my eyes out, snot and all. Guess what?! It felt amazing, extremely cathartic. I talked about things that I had bottled up and even felt silly about but they were things that were bothering me. I knew after that first session that this was the best decision I could have ever made.

Has it been helpful?

Extremely! Keep in mind that going to therapy isn’t going to fix all of your problems. It will, however, give you the tools to heal and deal with future problems in the healthiest way possible. I noticed a huge change, not only in myself but in my relationships as well. I went from feeling anxious every day and wanting to cry all the time to be able to acknowledge those feelings without letting them consume me.

Perfect?

Does this mean that I handle all situations perfectly? Absolutely not! I am still a work in progress. My emotions can get the best of me at times but that’s okay. I know that I will be working on myself for as long as I live.

Do I still have days where my anxiety gets the best of me? Um Yeah. To be completely honest, there have been many days where I let my anxiety get the best of me. Like I said earlier, therapy isn’t going to “fix” you. Therapy will only give you the tools and the rest is up to you. And as much as I love to say I use those tools every day there are still some days when I’d much rather sit with my favorite blanket and a pint of ice cream after coming to the conclusion that “I will try again tomorrow”. You are allowed those moments where you throw up your hands and decide to try again tomorrow. You just have to make sure that you follow through.

After all, we are all human. We were not meant to be perfect.

My advice:

The biggest thing I learned was that I only have control over myself, that is it. I have control over how I chose to react to things and I have control over my thoughts.

Another gem I learned was that you cannot allow people to have control over you. For example, you get into an argument with your spouse and they do something to piss you off. Now, you’re walking around all day upset, meanwhile your spouse is having the best day ever because they were able to piss you off and get under your skin. Instead, you can choose to ignore it and also have the best day ever. You should never let another person have control over you and how you feel, that’s your job.

My last bit of advice: Aside from therapy, something that helps me out a lot is writing, hence the reason I started this blog. Sharing my experiences and advice on this platform has been so therapeutic for me. I’ve had so many conversations with people that can relate to something I’ve posted in the past and how reading my blog helped them or at least made them realize they are not alone. This is why I continue to share as much as I do because I want to be able to help in any way that I can.

Sincerely Chanel 💜

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