I share these stories about my past with the hopes that it can help someone. I don’t share them to talk negatively about my ex. I want anyone who is in a similar situation to know that there is hope. So with that being said, this is a story about how my ex secretly stalked me to a restaurant because he thought I was cheating. When in all actuality he was the on cheating on me.
How It Started
If you don’t know, before my fiancé and I got together I was in a relationship (some may call it a situation-ship) for 3 years. The story of that relationship is long and dramatic so I will give the very short version. I dated this guy, we’ll call him Taz, off and on for 6 years(when I was about 16-19 then again from 23-26, I think). Our relationship was very toxic in many ways, but when you’re young and in love, you do stupid things. When this incident happened it was right around the time before I found out that he had been cheating on me with his ex. I had a feeling something was going on because, truthfully, something was always going on but I just couldn’t prove it.
The Phone Call
One day I was at work and I got a message from a girlfriend of mine asking me to meet up. It was extremely random but it sounded urgent so I agreed. Plus, she wanted to meet at one of my favorite restaurants not too far from my house. This restaurant also happened to be a restaurant that Taz & I frequented a lot. I called him to let him know that my friend wanted to meet up so I wouldn’t be going over to his house that night. As well as, letting him know that she made it sound like it was something urgent so I was going to be supportive. This must have sounded fishy to him because I wasn’t one to go out on a work night and also this wasn’t a friend that he had heard me talk about often. Taz kept asking me what she wanted to talk about but I couldn’t give him an answer because I had no idea. Needless to say, he did not believe me.
The Meet Up
That night, I got off work, went home to change and headed out to the restaurant. Once I got there I met up with my friend, we went upstairs to the rooftop to grab some food and chat. She still wouldn’t tell me what she needed to talk about so at this point I was getting nervous. Taz kept texting me & FaceTiming me to make sure I was where I said I was and with who I said I was with (super controlling). Finally, we moved to the event room that they had downstairs and that’s when I realized what she had called me there for. YOU SHOULD BE HERE.
(Disclaimer: I have no problem with people who are/were apart of WorldVentures, it’s just not something that I am interested in)
As soon as this man started presenting I was so disappointed because my “friend” invited me to a meeting about, what I considered, a pyramid scheme. The reason I was so disappointed was that I felt lied to, why didn’t she just tell me that’s what she wanted to talk about? Instead of being upfront she tricked me into coming to something I would not have come to otherwise. Especially because before she asked to meet up I explained to her how I had a rough day and I just wanted to go home. But, if you know me, you know that I’m a very sweet person (unless I have a reason not to be) so I sat there, pretended to be interested. I also kept my phone in my bag throughout the presentation, because I didn’t want to be rude.
Once the presentation was over I took my phone out and realized I had missed messages and calls from Taz. I called him back but immediately realized he was pissed. We started arguing about how he felt like I was being sneaky because I wasn’t answering my phone, so I just told him I was on my way to his house and we could discuss it then.
He Saw Everything
I walked outside, hugged my friend goodbye & hopped in a cab. When I got to his house I was ringing the bell but there was no answer. I could see that his lights were on so I was confused about why he wasn’t answering. I called him to ask where he was and that’s when he told me “I’m behind you”. Even more confused, I asked him what was he talking about because I clearly didn’t see him behind me. A couple of minutes passed and there he was walking up to his house. We went inside and he had a weird look on his face. I kept asking him where he had gone & here is where it got interesting.
He Stalked Me
After some back & forth, Taz admitted to me that he had shown up at the restaurant after I stopped answering his messages. He said that once he got there he hid across the street behind another building. I was in complete shock. This man had followed me and then watched me from across the street because I didn’t answer his messages? I didn’t know whether to be upset, sad, hurt or scared. Taz told me that he didn’t believe I was at the restaurant with a girl so he decided to go see for himself. Taz had even gone inside of the restaurant to look around for me. He told me that he had seen me walk outside, hug my friend and get in the cab. At this point I was furious and I wanted him to feel foolish for being crazy, so I asked him if he felt stupid when he saw me walk out with my friend and he said yea. To add to it, he told me that he had recorded a video while he was outside waiting. He was so convinced he was going to catch me in the act. Seeing the video really confirmed that he actually stalked me and wasn’t making any of this up.
What I Learned
Looking back, I probably should have left then but I didn’t. I know first hand how hard it can be to move on from something that is clearly not good for you. What I will say is that once that relationship was over, I started working on myself without any interruptions. I changed a lot of things about myself and became stronger than ever.
“What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”.
Please visit The National Domestic Violence website, if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship.
You should also check out this website that shares some stalking warning signs.